Loss of Self

Trying to be the person you think you are supposed to be by comparison to others or criticism from those whose opinion you value, changes you slowly but surely. It is a natural human reaction to repeated diminishing negative experiences especially from a young age. Believing that we need to EARN love and acceptance becomes the inevitable program we adopt and start behaving accordingly.

I remember waking up one day in my early twenties and not recognizing myself at all in the mirror. The expression on my face, the lack of life in my eyes and the paleness shocked me. This realization spiralled into a deep depression that I did not know how to get out. Instead of giving up - I chose life! I can’t say it was an easy road forward – I still had many deep rivers to cross and much work to do on myself.

Changing yourself metastasizes from shame and believing that you are not good enough as you are. It took many years of work and process and education to work my way back up to the light at the end of the tunnel and feeling joyful again.

Any form of abuse or neglect in childhood forms the person to be able to tolerate much lower forms of expectations in what a loving partnership is supposed to be. Choosing dysfunctional relationships and abusive partners are often the result.

Do you recognize any of these aspects of yourself?

· You are often confused

· You struggle to make decisions

· You question yourself

· You apologize for everything

· You make excuses for THEIR bad behaviour

· You have lost your confidence

· You find yourself isolated with little support

· You are paralyzed by fear of life without THEM

· You accept their reality as yours

It takes courage and determination to take action and to know what is the right decision for you to make. Adopting new tools and gaining awareness and clarity for a life of self-empowerment and self-respect depends on you. There is nothing wrong with wishing that you changed sooner but be assured that it is NEVER too late!

We all reach a place where we have to say: “I love and forgive every version of myself that did the best that I could with the awareness that I had.”

Life coaching is a practical outcome talk therapy using the techniques of Modern Applied Psychology.

For more information contact: Karin Engman

@ Mind Wellness in Ermelo 082 7246985

NOW @ MIZPAH (opp JJ School) AND ALSO @ HUMMINGBIRD

Published Author: “A Path of Choices”

www.karindedekind-engman.com