Rupture and Repair

The art of communications are best learnt by example. We will come across many individuals and situations that trigger reactions within us. The ability to agree to disagree and engage in a discussion or debate regarding a topic that evokes strong emotions or beliefs, reflects on maturity and intelligence. Respect for a different point of view is the first step to living in peace and feeling calm instead of a triggered verbal rupture.

Building meaningful and fulfilling partnerships in marriage, family or business requires communications. We need to be able to recognize when the pursuit of persuasion is futile and acknowledge the difference in points of view. We always have the choice to step away from the emotional reaction and bring the ‘repair’ into a relationship – there is always room for repair.

Therapists call this process rupture and repair. If you had parents who acknowledged their mistakes and took responsibility for them and taught you as a child to acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them too, then ruptures won’t feel so cataclysmic in your adult relationships. If, however, your childhood ruptures didn’t come with loving repairs, it will take some practice for you to tolerate the ruptures, to stop believing that every rupture signals the end, and to trust that even if a relationship doesn’t work out, you will survive that rupture too. You may heal and self-repair and sign up for another relationship full of its own ruptures and repairs. It’s not ideal, opening yourself up like this, putting your shield down, but if you want the rewards of an intimate relationship, there’s no way around it.

Life Coaching is a talk therapy with a practical outcome approach. Therapy assumes the therapist is the expert. Coaching is an equal partnership.

For more information: Karin Engman 082 7246985 (whatsapp) @ de Zandsteen centre in Ermelo

Facebook: Karin Engman Life

Stress management: www.treforafrica.com a body modality to release stress (without talking)

All cultures/religions welcome