The Balance of Happiness and Sadness

With a tendency to be melancholic, the current state of affairs of our beautiful country, does not help to uplift my spirit. I usually prefer to do the Ostrich, as far as politics go, but at the moment it is exceedingly difficult NOT to notice the chaos!

My own sadness, (depression) I discovered, is directly linked to a feeling of helplessness in the bigger picture and not sadness related to loss/wounding.

Life happens to all of us. We all get ‘wounded’ some way or another and this impacts on us at a deep level (dysfunctional home environment/abuse/divorce/bullying etc) form who we become. This does not determine who you choose to be going forward.

What do we do with wound/s? Do we get stuck in a permanent state of sadness? Do we find a coping mechanism and anaesthetize it? Do we put up a jovial front and pretend all is ok? At some point in time the unresolved sadness/pain/wounding will catch up with us, perhaps in physical health or emotional dysfunction. In my experience it is revealed in relationships/marriage – or simply put – the inability to have an honest, fulfilling, healthy and lasting relationships.

The poet Rumi wrote: ‘The wound is where the light enters.’

As the pain becomes unbearable we reach a cross road and need to make a choice of receiving the light (learning/growth) that the wound presents or staying stuck in unhealthy relationships. Unfortunately no-one can do the ‘work’ for you. We also can’t be forced to change or work on our ‘issues’ – it is a choice that only we can make.

It requires bravery and courage to be honest with yourself. As Lyanla says: ‘Call a thing a thing!’ Even this in itself is LIBERATING! We are all a work in progress. No-one is ever perfectly whole. As humans we are imperfect as we constantly discover new aspects of ourselves that require our attention. Embracing all of who we are and remaining open/vulnerable and curious despite our short comings, facilitates healing and growth and fulfilling relationships.

These past weeks and I recognized sadness everywhere. The challenge is to find the balance between the two. We can’t only be sad or only be happy. We need to seek out happiness. I find it in Gratitude – by noticing what I do have instead of what I wish I had.

“Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed. The higher the tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger the roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That is balance.” Osho

Life coaching is a practical outcome talk therapy using the techniques of Modern Applied Psychology.

For more information or making your appointment contact: Karin Engman

@ Mind Wellness in Ermelo 082 7246985

NOW @ MIZPAH (opp JJ School) AND ALSO @ HUMMINGBIRD

Published Author: “A Path of Choices”

www.karindedekind-engman.com